BUS baba, BUS!!!

(Dedicated to all those who have experienced the delights of the Indian bus service)

I was on my way back to Gurgaon from my elder sister’s home. Waiting for the low floor Tata bus at the AIIMS Bus stop I noticed old inter-state busses pass by. “My blog’s next article,” I thought and round the corner, a green colored low-floor bus loomed into view.

The pneumatically actuated doors opened. No rush. I heaved a sigh of relief. Opening of the doors was a good omen. Stepping into the bus I realized I was correct. All the seats were occupied. People standing were spaced well apart-approximately 5 cm from each other (That’s that’s too much space,believe me!!). I swam across the pool of people towards the big huddle that surely enveloped the ticket conductor. He was saying something that was inaudible to me, so I climbed up the huddle of passengers only to hear the conductor shout,“You all are asphyxiating me, move away!”

Some people don’t buy a ticket. Instead, they try to buy the whole destination itself. The young lady standing beside me took out a twenty rupee bill and thrust it towards the conductor through the small gap that remained just above the waists of the two gentlemen standing in front of us. “Bhaiya, ek Sahara Mall de dena,” she said in Hinglish (That’s speaking Hindi in U.S. English accent…Like Katrina does!! Like the editor of this blog, Miss Namrata from Boston, does!!). “How can you buy an entire Mall with twenty bucks”, I thought and I let out a small snigger that instantly subsided when she narrowed her eyebrows and stared at me.

After a few unsuccessful attempts I became a legal passenger on board. Thrusting the ticket into my back pocket I managed to find a spot to root myself for the rest of the journey. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, the same young damsel stood just in front of me. With a sudden jolt the bus rolled ahead and simultaneously the lady yelled- “How dare you touch me!!” and looked at me. All the passengers looked at me. I looked at myself.(Which part of me actually touched her??). And then she turned away adjusting her Bluetooth receiver saying,“I will talk to you later. I am in a bus right now and I don’t want to create a scene over here. Bye.” I regained my breath. The passengers, who had stood up anticipating some action, sat down dejected. I wiped the sweat off my forehead and thanked God. “Her boyfriend perhaps….. not me,” I gestured and mumbled silently to an elderly gentleman who was still looking at me suspiciously. I broke the gaze and started looking out of the window.

The rest of the journey was not so adventurous. Once I got off the bus, I rushed home to narrate the incident to my roommates. They laughed their head off and now it’s your turn to do so.